On September 14, 2020
Since our last edition. I’ve kept the integrity of my meal plan boundaries, I’ve stayed refined sugar-free, I’ve met or exceeded my daily water goal, I’ve intermittently participated in workouts, flipping between body. – weight strength routines and walks, and I’ve also stayed in good touch with exceptional support.
In the past, as in the distant past, absence from this blog was a strong indicator of an intense struggle. I have received several messages of concern recently and I appreciate each and every one of them, thank you. I am doing well, every day, always, and in many ways, more connected than ever.
I have increased my connections with people and doubled down on the spiritual, mental and emotional side of things.
Blogger has changed the format. You will no longer see my Instagram accountability posts on this blog. Although this change is due to technical issues, it is a good change. Rest assured, I still weigh and measure, log and Instagram my food every day, and if you really wanted to check it out, you’ll find it there, every day. instagram.com/seanaanderson But the thing is. , this whole journey it’s not about food.
My personal meal plan is just a tool to help me be clear enough to do the real work down the road. I cannot make spiritual progress if I am in food. My food posts on Instagram were never meant to be anything other than an accountability tool for me. When I post a feed, I’m instantly sharing my feed with almost a thousand people. Granted, only a handful of looks at it, but it’s there. That’s just the function of the tool that is my abstinence meal plan. It’s not a recommendation, it’s not for recipe ideas, it’s not “Hey look what I made” a kind of thing. It’s just an accountability tool for my personal nutrition plan. I make it pleasing to me, keep it refined, sugar free, and when/if changes need to be made, I consult with another person for those changes.
As I get further and further into my recovery, I am torn on how to continue this twelve year commitment to this blog. Tomorrow marks the 12th anniversary of that night when it all started in 2008. I don’t like the title of this blog, I don’t like the URL I chose the first night, and I don’t like these things. because they fuel a diet mentality that never worked for me in the end. I didn’t know what I didn’t know then.
This path is not just about food and achieving a dramatic physical transformation. I’ve done it, and trust me, when that’s the number one goal, it’s going to frustrate you a lot. It did me.
Spiritual, mental and emotional transformation. learning how to feel emotions and navigate life in better ways; willingness to let go and trust in a power greater than myself… that’s where the good lies. If I seek, listen, and learn in that direction, the physical parts take care of themselves, which is a very side effect of my spiritual state. Those things go on, one day at a time. I have to renew that subscription every morning when I get down on my knees and ask for help to get me through another day.
These things are not new to me. However, I continued and represented this blog and other media in ways that could be interpreted as a diet mentality and did not always reflect the hope, strength and experience that dramatically reshaped my values along the way. I do not follow a diet. This blog is not about dieting, it’s about living.
I don’t know it all. It didn’t matter if I did because it’s not about what I know, it’s just what I do. Remember, my best “knowing” kept me obsessed, in that life-stealing occupation, and close to 500 pounds or more for almost twenty years.
I look forward to continuing this blog in a way that is in harmony with my heart, mind and soul.
MOM update.
The mother is still in quarantine after several staff and residents tested positive for COVID-19. He is safe and doing well, they are keeping him healthy. Mom’s UTI has cleared up and with it her thoughts are clear. He realizes why he can’t go back to his regular room right now. Once the nursing home reaches zero new cases, they will return him to his regular room. He misses being in his place.
In the meantime, we visit every day via video chat. Mom is also getting better at portal controls. This allows him to interact more often with me, his siblings and others.
I am filled with gratitude as I hit the pillow tonight.
Thanks for reading and continued support,
Practice, peace and quiet,
Sean:
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