DATING is not easy in the modern age and many singles are searching in the hope that they might find ‘the one’.
There’s a fine line with someone you care about and trying to control them, we take a deeper look at the art of ‘love bombing’.
Although Banksy puts the term to good use in this exhibition in Rome, that was not his intentionCredit: Alam
What is love bombing?
Every person who strives to find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with is prone to love bombing.
Before explaining the term, it’s important to know that when these things are done the right way, it could be someone you’ve found a connection with.
Love bombing is often used by controlling, narcissistic, and abusive individuals.
They try to quickly gain the affection and attention of someone they are romantically pursuing by presenting an idealized image of themselves.
That’s the most important thing to remember, because many of the tactics used by a love bomber are common traits you’d expect from a partner.
It is all about the context in which they are used, for what purpose and how it is transformed into something else.
More often than not, the love bomber will turn abusive, very difficult, and manipulative once they feel secure in the relationship.
What are some examples of love bombing?
They make you feel like you can “do better”
A love bomber will put you on a pedestal and make you feel like you’re the most important thing in the world, while it’s normal for a partner to want the best for you, this will change when they want your attention more.
You will see them putting down people or things in your life to make you feel like you deserve more.
They tell you exactly what you want to hear
Even if it’s not true, they’ll seek your undivided attention and affection by conjuring up what you want to hear.
It’s a form of manipulation that gets you on their side.
Wanting to be with you always
They may make you feel bad for wanting boundaries or space, which is not a good sign.
I keep checking on you
Wanting to know your location, constantly monitoring your social media activity, or asking for passwords are all signs of love bombing.
The relationship feels intense and unbalanced
Making sweeping comments like saying you’re “soulmates” early on in a relationship or saying you’re meant for each other are all red flags.
They may ask you to make commitments before you are ready to do so.
They shrink from boundaries
When you want to take time for yourself or see friends and family, you will find that they are hurt or upset that you don’t want to spend time with them.
Making you believe you actually did something wrong
They will try to make you believe that you are responsible for their poor boundaries or behavior.
This is often called “gas lighting”.
You start to feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”
It could be a case where you tried to set boundaries and they reacted emotionally, letting you tread lightly in the future.
They want your undivided attention
When your attention is not on them, they get upset or angry.
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