Approximately twelve minutes reading time
“Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment
or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our
lives.” ~ William Throsby Bridges
Hello! Welcome to another Sunday. How quickly it has
arrived. I hope that you are happy and well. It’s only twenty days until Christmas and twenty six
days until 2022. Oh my!
Much has happened this week. It has not been easy but
it has been a good week.
Monday was heralded with a song that a man made up for
me and sang to me. I was humbled, delighted and flattered. It was lovely. This
was a new song. I told them that I am incredibly
flattered and feel very special, especially given this new information. How lucky
Yesterday I learned that my ten year old nephew is a
close contact risk of Covid-19 from one of his class mates at school. He wears
a mask to school. I pray that he is safe and well. I hope that all the children
A few days ago I learned that my trip to Antarctica
has been cancelled. There is too much uncertainty in the world regarding travel
and safety from Covid-19 is not assured. I was shocked. I was not as
disappointed as I would have expected. Perhaps after all that I have endured since
the Black Summer Bushfires, losing everything, fighting for my life for almost two
years and being completely disabled, this is a minor event. My trip will be
rescheduled when the World is more stable and international travel is safer and
I will continue my countdown. It will be interesting to
see what happens within this time-frame. Given that I am not prepared for my
trip this is in some ways a reprieve. As my bushfire rebuild is not yet
complete this pressure of competing timelines is alleviated. I have no idea when my home will be finished
and ready for myself and Schrodie to return home.
“Life Is A Highway” by Tom Cochrane is this week’s “Song
of the Week” because it is fitting. I love this song, everything about it. The
sentiment is spot on. I cannot control what happens to me in Life but I hold on
tight and enjoy the ride as much as possible. I look forward with optimism and
anticipation. All is as it needs to be, just like my “Knot of Life”. I do not
know or understand the reasons for these happenings. I make the best of my
reality at each and every point in time. Gratitude and joy feature as constants
in my life, no matter the circumstances. Overall I love the energy, positive and
cheerful, happy music which overrides the lyrics. This is a great and powerful
song. May you enjoy it as much as I do, always.
Schrodie and I have just returned from our mildly wet walk,
through the rain sprinkles. We beat the storm and had a wonderful walk. The
scent and colour of the gardens was a delight, as always. Outside it is still
wet and cold. We had two Summer days mid-week, which were wonderful. The heat
was a shock to the system. It was glorious to have two consecutive, hot and
sunny days. We look forward to more. Summertime is upon us although it mostly
still feels like Wintertime. For me, rain means no bushfires, for which I will
always be grateful. May what happened to me and the horrors I have lived, never
happen to anyone else.
Spending a day in Bondi Junction was a wonderful and
strange experience. To be around people, although it was pretty quiet all ‘round
and to be in a massive Shopping Centre like Westfield was an interesting
experience, after being locked away for so long. I hoped that I might buy Christmas presents but I couldn’t find anything
and was not inspired to shop. I indulged in one of my favourite things to eat, the
best Middle Eastern street food in Sydney, a delicious falafel pita bread. This
did not disappoint me and was worth the three hundred kilometre drive, although
not the purpose of my trip.
My chemotherapy hair is mostly gone. After seven
months I have had a haircut. I love it. My Stylist is one of the best. He
explained to me that what I did not like about my hair was that it was what I
call “chemotherapy hair”. My long hair has been cut to the nape of my neck, my
shoulders. Without my realising it, my thick hair has been growing back. The
crown of my head is covered with thick, lustrous, healthy hair which is bouncy
once again. The fullness looks complete although this is a trick of the eye
created by great skill and mastery with scissors, for which I am grateful. Only
the last inch or so of my hair is thin and remnants of the chemotherapy. I feel
much happier and lighter once again. Amazingly my natural colour, mid-brown, is
still in tact and not destroyed by what I suffered over the last two years.
Now, I will regrow my hair, long.
A couple of days ago, I received a message that my Poem,
“Words, Words, Words” will be included in another International Publication, the third for this poem. An
international Anthology, for which I am thrilled and delighted. This was completely
unexpected. I hope that you enjoy my Poem. It is included within my pages.
My bushfire rebuild is progressing. The tiler has been
working for almost two weeks laying the tiles. Tomorrow he is to grout. I didn’t
realise there was so much tiling. I am relieved that so far, I love my colours
and print selections. I am happy with all my choices so far. This is
particularly important as I was forced to choose from what the builder allowed,
even the minimal colour palate for paints. I only upgraded two choices of tiles
to enhance the comfort and joy that I would feel in my living spaces. I don’t
love the mosaics that replaced the ones I selected but they are okay. My eight
year old nephew suggested that they look like chain-mail, which I love.
Surprisingly I see Dragon Scales. Nevertheless, I am happy with my selections.
If I had free reign to choose everything myself, the house would look
completely different. Considering I stayed within the builders included options
for almost everything, I am happy. The tiler calls my main tiles black which
they are not. They are a grey, green Australian tile. My bathrooms are very
dark and dramatic. My sister asked me why I chose such dark tiles. My bathrooms
look like the “Bat Cave”. Batman would feel at home. My tile selection was
simply that these were the tiles I liked best within the included selections.
They are a proper non-slip floor tile. They are Australian Made. They are dramatic,
evoking interest. I like the texture. Whilst visiting my home on Friday, the
tiler was cutting the large wall tiles to place on the floor of the patio
around the door. I didn’t realise until I was talking to a friend later. This
is dangerous and a really big deal. I sent the Site Supervisor a request to
check this and remove any wall tiles from the floor. One of the main reasons I
chose these tiles was the safety of proper non-slip tiles on the floors. The
wall tiles are also thinner. I am flabbergasted at this potential result. The only reason
I can imagine him using wall tiles on the floor is that his job becomes easier
using larger cut tiles than laying more smaller tiles. I will check this more
closely later. If this has been done, they will be reported and fixed. I hope that I am wrong. I was hopeful and optimistic about the tiler as
he tiled my friend’s house. Her job was much smaller and simpler. The Site
Supervisor told me that there was a problem in the kitchen as they could not
lay the mosaics around the window sill, it being too hard. I said “no problem”
lay the same green-grey tile around the window sill and under the cupboards
instead of the mosaics. Problem solved. This did not phase me at all.
There is still so much to do and I have no idea when I
can return home. Schrodie loves going home. He loves exploring the house. It is
much larger than I realised. We deserve the space. For the first time in my
life I will have space and storage space with nothing to fill it. My old friend
Irony rears her head once more.
I was assured by the Site-Supervisor that the wall in
the living space will be removed. He told me that they aren’t installing the
fireplace. I told him that the Contract Plans say “Builder to install”. When I
reminded him that the fireplace will not be where the wall has been incorrectly
built, he tried to talk me out of moving the position, telling me a bigger
space at the back of the house is better for me. I have considered this
carefully and do not agree. I want the fireplace in the middle of the space and
the middle of the large hole in the wall. This will allow the four sided
fireplace to be seen from the hall as well as the living space. Most
importantly, it will allow the easy transfer of heat to the hall and the
surrounding bedrooms and bathroom. He is right in saying that the fireplace
will reach the middle of the hole. Another reason that it will look odd if not
centred in the space. I hope that my assessment is right and it looks and works
well. He wants to position it where the wall is as this will make his life easier
and not require the hole in the ceiling to be moved or fixed. This was their mistake. I
must live with the decision that I take and my choice, as always in life.
Spending time with friends has been fabulous. I am grateful
for the host of smart, fun, interesting, creative wonderful people in my life. I
am happy to have good people, especially good men in my life. I no longer have
any “guys” in my life, just men. There is a real difference between the two. This
is why I refer to a man as a guy, to his face, rather than a man. I never refer
to a guy as a man, because he is not. I know the difference. Sadly, I think
that this is overlooked by too many people. The same goes for women. It is not
age alone that makes a woman, a real woman. Nevertheless, I am happy with the
people in my life. I am amazed by how many new and fabulous people are now a
part of the fabric of my life. I feel blessed, as always.
Much work is happening on the podcast with so much
still to do. Although I have faltered much about whether to continue with it,
countless people push me on. I keep getting told how important my story is and
how I can really help others. I am humbled. I hope so. I have lived the last two years and
they still seem unbelievable to me, stranger than fiction. My Memoir has taken
a back seat as there is so much more pressing work to do first. Every day is
filled with so much and there is never enough time to do everything. My task
list is ever growing. Once we return home, much of this will disappear as the
jobs are completed, eventually. Until then, “I must grin and bear it” as Mummy
taught me. This is a staple in my life.
Schrodie and I have fun every day. We walk, we play,
we dance. He has play dates with friends for which I am grateful, as is he.
I have decided not to continue my appointments with
the Trauma Psychologist. I have spoken with my Family Doctor (GP) and another Psychologist
who agree that the relationship does not seem beneficial.
Balancing cashflow is a constant and tricky business.
I must be very careful always and this is terrifying until my situation is back
in balance. For now, I manage, grateful that I have the necessary skills.
Johnny is still not getting the attention he deserves.
We are enjoying our time together. My playing is improving. More time and
attention to my guitar will make an enormous difference to my playing. When the
pain in my ulnar nerve, shoulder, hand and arm flare up I desist from playing
Johnny too much, if at all. I am stronger. My hand function and control is much
improved, for which I am incredibly grateful. The guitar lessons and playing
has made the positive difference for which I had hoped when I first decided to
take lessons and start playing as hand therapy.
My Libre Sensors have not been working properly and I
must call Abbotts to have the two Sensors which stopped working without
warning, after a few days, replaced. I am lucky that both times, I had a spare
on hand. There are always error messages with the sensors not working. This is
pretty scary given that my blood sugar readings are important to my safety and well-being,
in the short and long term as a Type1 Diabetic. Luckily I feel the changes in
my body and know how to respond appropriately.
Finally I am free of Prednisone. My last one milligram
dose was on the 30th November. I felt rather unwell for the next few days. I
hope that I never again need this terrible drug although I am grateful that it
helped save my life. I only take Methotrexate and Benralizumab now and look
forward to stopping both of these drugs as soon as possible. I take my nine
daily vitamin and mineral supplements to continue my nerve restoration and body
Apparently I look the same as I did years ago, or so I have been
told. Remarkably I seem to have recovered my body relatively unscathed, at an
obvious level at least. My determination and hard work is paying off. Once my
diet is restored and my healthy eating patterns are fully restored, with a
regular and more rigorous physical training work out in place, I expect my
muscles to improve. The excess fat I am carrying, although not much, too much
for me will be less with my weight and muscle tone improved. I cannot wait.
In the meantime Schrodie and I make the most of every
day, no matter how harrowing. Most especially I am grateful for my wonderful,
sweet Angel, Schrodie and his fabulous company. Every. Single. Day.
I am about to enjoy a hearty minced beef, potato and
cabbage, tomato casserole. It is tasty, warm, hearty and delicious. Comfort
food on a cold wet, day. This is an easy, quick, simple and nutritious meal
which is inexpensive and doesn’t have much fat. It is seasoned simply with salt
and pepper, however I added a splash of red wine vinegar and some Worcestershire
Sauce to counter the smell of the beef to which I seem especially sensitive
today. I also love the hint of tangy flavour. It is delicious and beckons me. I
have a delicious loaf of Spelt Sourdough bread to enjoy with my meal and mop up
the tasty juices. The bread will give me my two carbohydrate counts necessary
to keep my body and blood sugars balanced. I have been managing two good meals
most days. For this I am grateful and happy. At times I have felt hungry which
also makes me happy. Hot oil splashed up into my right eye as I was searing the
potatoes. I doused my eye in cold water, grateful that I can now cup my hand
successfully to do this job. Hopefully, I am okay.
The other morning a black spider crawled out of the
cereal box when I flipped open the lid. The spider jumped. I took it to the
sink so it could go down the drain. I was grateful that the cereal bag was
tightly sealed with a rubber band. This experience was surprising and a first.
It did not scare me. I am glad that it wasn’t in the cereal and I did not eat
or swallow it. Disaster averted. Home is bug central. I am glad that I am not
afraid of creepy crawlies although I remain ever vigilant to their presence. I understand the potential dangers they bring.
My car registration is on schedule as I now have my
Pink Slip. One less important thing to consider.
are some of the highlights of this week. Thank you for your company. As
always, I hope that you leave Schrodie’s Mummy feeling a little better than
when you arrived. I hope that by sharing my journey this helps you with yours
in some way. Stay strong and hang in there no matter what trauma, challenges or
adversity that you face. Celebrate every Joy! Celebrate every Win! No matter
how small, they matter, much. I hope that my posts and pages help you in some
way, interest you, make you smile or laugh. Most especially may these and your
visits to Schrodie’s Mummy inspire and motivate you upon your journey. This is
the only reason that I share this with you.
small thing every day that makes you laugh and something to put joy in your
heart and sustain you on your path. Please refer anyone who you believe will
benefit from visiting us here at Schrodie’s Mummy.
General William Throsby Bridges sage words are included as they remind me that
there is purpose to all that happens in life and our continued growth through
the trials and tribulations of life are part of this purpose. This celebrated
Soldier was instrumental in forging the Australian Army and creating Duntroon,
the Australian Military Academy in Canberra. He was the only soldier whose body
was returned to Australia from Gallipoli. I hope his words inspire and help you
upon your journey.
care, stay happy and well.
continue to post on Sunday or as close to, as life allows. Pages will be added
on Wednesday and Friday.
Quote at https://www.overallmotivation.com/quotes/disappointment-quotes/